a l m o s t t h e r e
by RelapseAndEscape
Summary: 3x17. It's gonna make you cry, Blainey. Klaine. TW: body image issues, implication of ED, perfectionism, high standards.


Don't look down at the _scale_ anymore

_(it's gonna make you cry, Blainey)_

Because if you do, you're gonna

**CRACK**

Under the pressure

Or _worse_

Maybe even throw yourself off

The fucking bridge

Because you're not

(_ENOUGH_)

Calm down, Blainey

New rules

_(just breathe)_

New rules

**_Schedule the make-out sessions_**

Kurt won't find it **weird**

Kurt's _amazing_

Kurt's

**_PERFECT_**

_(pretty pretty please don't you ever ever feel that you're less than less than perfect-)_

He can feel every

[_pound_]

he's gained in his body

**_It'stoomuch_**

And if Kurt _touches_ him he's gonna feel every single

[_pound_]

Of **_FAT_** marring his body

Sinking into his _skin_,

Making him a waste of fucking space

Kurt's _amazing_

Too sweet

Won't say a single word

**_And and and and and_**

Chandler…

Tiny tiny Chandler…

**CHANDLER**

small perfect small perfect small like Kurt perfect like Kurt

**_ T_**

Maybe one day he's gonna choke as he laughs

[**_maybe_**]

_(just breathe)_

Maybe one day he's gonna breathe again

[**_maybe_**]

For every time Kurt says NYADA

Blaine doesn't notice the sugary sweet candy in his mouth

_(it's like intoxication at its best)_

For every time Kurt screams NYADA

Blaine throws himself another helping on the plate && doesn't look back

_(it's like intoxication at its worst)_

For every time Kurt whispers NYADA

Blaine bakes a batch of cookies and demolishes them

_(it's like intoxication at its prettiest)_

Pretty little Blaine stuffed with so much fucking

**_FOOD_**

**thathedoesn'tdeserve**

he might even cry, oh God, oh God, oh God

_Kurt_?

"Blaine, what are you doing in the bathroom? Get out of there! You've been there for nearly twenty minutes!"

"I'm…taking a shower."

"I can't hear the water."

"Okay. Just give me a minute."

"Blaine?"

His voice's _amazing_

Kurt's _amazing_

And Blaine

Sweet tiny Blaine

Sweet **_FAT_** Blaine

_(is not enough)_

"Blaine, I'm walking in there-"

Kurt's mouth is agape. Kind of pretty like bubbliness.

"What are you doing on my _scale_?"

Blaine's by Kurt's scale and his eyes are glued onto the number

"I gained a few pounds."

Kurt laughs. It hurts.

"Honey, I don't care if you gained a few pounds…is this what it's about? Not NYADA?"

"…_mmhmm_. When you talk about it, I just…kind of _eat_. A lot."

"You're adorable. You're an emotional eater."

Kurt kisses Blaine

_(it's intoxication at its best)_

Blaine doesn't seem to budge off the scale, "I gained a few pounds, Kurt."

"Honey. It's just a few pounds."

"I gained them. I'm _out of control_."

"That's insane, Blainey. I don't like hearing you talk like _that_."

"Kurt, you don't understand. It was a perfect number. A _perfect_ number. My Mother weighed the same when she was alive, you know?"

Kurt thinks it's cute Blaine's Mother's _chubby_ because if the 5'1 woman weighs the same as Blaine

Then she'd be cute and _chubby_

Kurt rolls his eyes. "Blaine, you can lose them if it bothers you so much."

Blaine grins and steps off the scale, kissing Kurt and stepping out of the bathroom.

The number is still plastered across the digital scale.

120.

Kurt numbly stares at the scale

He's just given his boyfriend permission to lose weight

He's just given permission for his boyfriend to lose weight he doesn't need to

Kurt's shaky as he turns around, steps outside, looks at Blaine and opens his mouth to speak-

Blaine kisses him

_(it's intoxication at its worst)_

Kurt pulls away, "Blaine…"

Blaine stares at him, dumbfounded. "Kurt?"

"Blaine…" Kurt's eyes are burning with concern. "120?"

Blaine steps back.

"I _tried_ to be-

Tried to be

**_PERFECT_**

For _you_, Kurt. I swear."

Kurt's numb as he stares at him.

"Blaine, sweetie, no."

Blaine feels Kurt press his lips against his own

It's _amazing_

_(it's not enough)_

And then Kurt pulls away. "You're perfect, _okay_? Like _this_."

Blaine just stares at him, flabbergasted.

"I love you, Blaine."

_(and here we go again, lying)_

Blaine tries to search Kurt's eyes

"I love you," Kurt says again.

"I love you too, Kurt."

Blaine's mind is reeling with images of Chandler.

_(but it's not enough to keep you from wanting him)_


End file.
